Notes to Self - VII. Common Sense

My father always could find logic in everything.  He made logical decisions, I often acted on instinct and then created an infrastructure of reasons to justify my actions and called it common sense.

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By the way, I am still often listening to Bach. But Tchaikovsky has gone. He was gone the way of those geniuses who fascinate in youth but later in life they are a little bit embarrassing, somehow less relevant.

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The less time there remains in your life, the less you want to waste it. That is logical, isn't? I waste my time. Often. I do a lot of sketches, watch contemporary shows on Amazon and Netflix, spend time on Internet...  In other words, I act like I was given two lives. Absurdity.

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Sometimes I compare my life to my friend's life. Some people say that he took his own life. A strange phrase, isn't? But what actually happened my friend took charge of his own life. He took it in his hands and then out of them. I just let life happened to me.

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The self-taught mystical artist Matthew Wong. He died this year of suicide. He was only thirty five years old.

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I try not to explain why I am doing some things and refuse to do others. Friends don't need it and others will always have doubts. Life never gives you explanations, it just gives you moments that sometimes are utterly and inexplicably odd.