Sunday, October 17, 2021

Notes to Self - XX. Crash Courses


 

On my eighteenth birthday, my father said to me, "If you haven't learned it yet, you are not going to."  It meant no more rules, no more curfew. It meant independence and freedom.  

It also meant that there will be many stormy days and I will go through them on my own and there will be also many crash courses and when I come out of them, I will never be the same person.  That is what all these stormy days and crash courses are about.

During the last year I received a crash course on pandemic, viruses and their dynamics, on our fragility as humans and then another crash course came, it was tragic and turned my life upside down. My husband was diagnosed with Alzheimer's (a fatal and devastating disease) and with this diagnose our life has changed forever.

That is my new normal now where there is little time for everything.

On the days when I am overwhelmed emotionally and physically I remind myself the words my father said to me on that memorable day when I turned eighteen.  "You can do hard things. We all can do them."

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По бумаге кляксою вся жизнь растекается и не получается мало говорить... Правильно, не правильно, а какая разница?  Мне надо больше двигаться и меньше говорить...

On paper, the whole life spreads like a blot and it is impossible to say a little ... Correct, not correct, but what difference does it make? I need to move more and talk less ...






20 comments:

  1. "Мне нужно больше двигаться и меньше говорить" будет моим девизом. Кая, я тебя обнимаю .

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    1. Аля, я тебя тоже обнимаю.

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  2. So sorry to read this and what you and your husband are going through. All the best to you both and may life's problems ease up for you.

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  3. les épreuves de la vie qui ne s’arrête pas pour autant.
    Amicales pensées.

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  4. Lamento la enfermedad de su marido y les deseo mucha fuerza para afrontar esta faceta de la vida que les esta tocando vivir a usted y su marido y que el Alzheimer no le haga sufrir mucho.

    Saludos.

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  5. I am so sorry, Kaya. I really know about your worries and sadness because my husband has cancer (two, actually) and there are days that are very difficult to manage. But you have to have the strength to face everything that comes your way, there is no choice, I think.
    I wish the best for you and your family.
    A hug

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    1. Mari, I am terribly sorry to hear about your husband and I would like to say to you the words I am saying to myself almost every day. You are stronger than you know, braver than you think, more loved than you can imagine.
      My very best wishes to you and your family.

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  6. Hello Kaya,
    What a great picture is this. A beautiful bird, so very nice!! You have photograph him so well.
    That are good words of your father at the past. Nice to remember.
    You must try to enjoy of all days and when it is possible go out. I read you and your husband had enough setbacks, so it is not easy to do.
    I wish you and your husband all the best Kaya!!

    Greetings and a big hug,
    Marco

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    1. Marco, thank you very much for your kindness. It means a lot to me.

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  7. Photography is a visual symphony. Kaya, you will patiently overcome all problems.

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  8. La vida siempre te pone a prueba y espero que tengas suficientes fuerzas para poder superarlas.

    Os deseo todo lo mejor.

    Besos

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  9. I send good thoughts and good wishes to you and to your husband, Kaya ....

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  10. En estos tiempos de pandemias hemos tenido que hacer muchos cursos intensivos de aptitudes y actitudes frente a lo que se nos vino encima y hasta nuestros propios valores sobre la vida han cambiado.
    Siento mucho la enfermedad de tu esposo. Vas a tener que ser muy fuerte de aquí en adelante para ayudarle.
    Un abrazo y cuidate.

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    1. Antonio, thank you very much for this comment.

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